Forgiveness means different things to different people, but mostly it involves an intentional decision to let go of anger and resentment. Its also something that cannot be voluntary or so I have devised, its totally involuntary and employing forgiveness is literally like putting down a huge grandfather clock that was carried on the shoulder. Its brilliant, it restores one to lightness and utter happiness, just forgiving also means not keeping score, in other words not remembering. So a daft memory is really an upside for those who chase happiness. But what it does not have to mean is reconciliation. There needs to be no reason to burn one’s hands with fire, again, that would really be sheer stupidity. There is no doubt that forgiveness is great for anyone, after all, why would one want anyone to live in their mind space allowing past hurts to be replayed.
There are many reasons one forgives, maybe the end is near and conflict in any form is not desired while giving up life, perhaps because it has been held on for too long. What if the offender is a serial offender, harboring insane levels of jealousy or the mind just works like that, like a work of art, whose every behavior defies logic? Well then, putting it all on karma works best in that case. I’ve asked for it, is a way to put it. Everything is so much easier if one believes in the fairness of life or the fairness of the universe. But to put it out there, the universe is not fair, it’s not even square, and there’s no symmetry but all one can then hope is that the universe favors you! But then there is the joy in a loss too, maybe that joy when found makes forgiveness come a tad bit too easily. There are reasons for spite that goes beyond one’s comprehension, the best thing to avoid hate, or being hated is to remove oneself from the situation, far and wide. And once bitten, twice shy, and third time probably dead. Again depends on what the biting ;D. Letting go and getting away is what a good person does, the bad person simply adds to more situations building more fodder for even more attacks.
Here’s hoping the true spirit of forgiveness is understood by all and everyone lets things be, and lets things go instead of force-fitting pieces that don’t fit together in the first place. There is so much maturity and ease in allowing existence than forcing existence. Hard work or working on things is not always the right thing to do. That I feel for sure. Force-fitting pieces together is the worst thing that can be. Why the insistence, why the force, why can’t like jive with like and let the unlike be! The fish may climb the tree upon firm insistence but what a pity it will be when it forgets to swim.
That’s the thing about forgiveness it cannot be forced and therein lies its merit.
Vedasri Siddamsetty 